"Q & A A Day", Great For The Soul And Brain

For Christmas I received probably the most amazing gift from my little brother. He gave me a time capsule. Not just any time capsule, but a time capsule in the form of a journal. I have always been one to enjoy pondering certain topics and questions, and this journal was perfect for me. It is called, "Q & A a Day, 365 Questions * 5 Years * 1,825 Answers: 5 Year Journal". It's a 5 year journal that I have grown absolutely in LOVE with. Each day, this little book has a question for you, and every question is different. Some are more serious than others and some are just for fun. You go to the day of the week and month you are in, fill in what year you are in and answer the question. Each day you do this until you return to the page where you started journaling, and repeat the process again. Each page has room for 5 years, so the following year when you return to a question you get to see what you wrote last year, if you're answer has stayed the same or changed, and if it has changed what it is this year that makes your answer different from the last.

I love that I get to reflect back and see if I have changed along with my answers, or if I will stick with the responses as the previous year and remain the same. It seems like a good exercise for everybody to partake in and enjoy for own personal growth and development. I feel it is important for a person to be able to reflect on his or her own thoughts, because those thoughts may have changed overtime, and it is good to kind of maybe know the reasoning, if any, for that change to have happened. We never stop growing as individuals, and this journal is just a small way of documenting those thoughts and seeing how one has grown or remained the same. I highly recommend in investing in this journal, especially if you have never done any journaling before. It's a perfect start, a good way to ease into journaling if you're looking to begin, and you are not forced to write a novel about each thought; just a few short lines, and you're done.

Growing up I have always kept a journal. Writing is something I have always enjoyed doing, especially when it's a releasing of my own thoughts. It feels good to just get my whirlwind of thoughts down on paper to help calm my mind again, and move on. I have noticed lately that one of my favorite times of day now is at the very end; when I'm cozy and snuggled up in bed with my time capsule and a pen, getting ready to see what question I get to answer for the day.

I haven't looked at today's question yet, I like leaving it for the very end of my day, kind of like a surprise. Yesterday's question was a good one though...

 "What makes 'you' you?"

Music Is To Dance

I don't believe I have ever come across a person who has ever said to me that they dislike music. Everybody enjoys some kind of music. We may not all agree on one particular genre all of the time, but it is safe to say everybody enjoys it.

Me and music have had a very deep and loving relationship, since before I even exited the womb. My parents love music, and always consistently have it playing whenever they get the chance. Growing up I was introduced to so many types of music ranging from Pop, Disco, Blues, Doo Wop, Country, R&B, Hip Hop, Cumbia, Mariachi, etc., etc.; all the way down to Low Rider Bands from East LA. However, my relationship with music really began to emerge when my parents began placing me in dance classes at the age of 5. They decided to finally place me in classes when they discovered that I liked watching music videos (with dancing in particular), and would try and dance along with them. Not only would I dance along, I would see the music videos enough to the point where I would start learning the moves, and would catch on somewhat quickly. My love for music is what fueled my love for dancing.

While in dance, I was also partaking in the Contreras Family favorite athletic activity, soccer. Honestly, I was really not that good at the whole playing sports thing, but was not that bad in defense. I was always placed as sweeper, and never really liked it cause I just wanted to be up front kicking in goals. Isn't that what any kid wants? Goalies ran in my family, so naturally at the age of 8, I was placed in the position as goalie. This did not play out very well, or for very long. One game in particular I was in my goal net, and my team was doing a pretty good job of keeping the ball on the other end. Now this is a good thing, but for a goalie, this could get somewhat boring after awhile. So, I decided to keep myself busy by practicing my dance routines in the goalie box and would try catching butterflies intermittently. The music to my routines were playing over and over in my head, than all of a sudden interrupted like a big "screeeech!" on a record by my dad yelling at me to knock it off and pay attention. Pay attention to what? The ball was not coming my way. Needless to say, my duty as a goalie was not taken as seriously as was my dedication to my dance routines. This is when my parents decided to pull me out of soccer, and make dance my main extra curricular activity.

I loved dance. I was damn good at it too, and that is something I am not shy about to say or admit. I was on a competitive dance team from the ages of 8 to 18, and we kicked ass! I loved my dance team and my amazing dance director that brought out the amazing dancer that lived inside of me. I studied a mix of it all; ballet, jazz, hip hop, and lyrical were my main focuses. I look back and sometimes want to relive some of those heart stopping, adrenaline pumping moments on stage, but that's why it is a memory now. It's something I can always look back at and reminisce about. When I think back to my practices and rehearsals, all the mini combos that we would do in class were my favorite moments when I danced. It was a time that I would be able to just let loose and let out whatever emotions that was building up inside. The music especially would tell my body what to do. How hard to hit a move, how soft, how slow, how fast. The music would tell me the emotion to dance out; happy, sad, angry, in love, heartbroken, even awkward. The music was the director, my body was the artist, and the dance floor was my canvas. I would also be able to dance without music and use only words, and even pure silence sometimes. However, I found that with music is when my best dancing would come forth. Especially if it was a song I loved, an artist I would listen to, or a type that would inspire my body to move. Music was the key that unlocked my dancing talent.

I still love to dance, and where there is music, you better believe there I am grooving away in my own world. I don't care if I'm by myself either. If its a good song, if I can move my body to it, than I'm dancing to it; solo, or in a crowd. I love music and what it does to me and my emotions and how it can be so therapeutic. Even right now, as I am typing this, a mellow, lingering sound of a play list on Pandora, is flooding my lap top speakers; and I just noticed I was bobbing my head to the beats, I can't help it.

Music is to dance, dance is to music; therefore music is to life. To me anyways, this equation will always go hand in hand and be a very big portion of who I am.

Jam on<3

The Bittersweetness Of The Unknown

I have been on a hunt for a job. Not just a job though, something that can be a starting base for a long term career. It has been a stressful, frustrating time of a roller coaster while looking for one. Man, does it do things to your emotions that you would not expect. I am a person that has always had a plan, and not really having a set map in front of me at the moment is kind of weird, but the unknown makes me a little excited for what and where I might land in the near future.

Here is where my map had started:

After attending a private Catholic school from Kindergarten-8th grade, I decided I wanted to attend a public high school, and chose Redondo Union. While I was in high school, I made a plan that I would go to a J.C. (any where except El Camino, to each thier own), than I would transfer over in no longer than 2 years to a 4 year University. What I would study, I was still unsure, but I knew that answer would come to me later as I continued my education. I graduated high school, and enrolled in Marymount College in P.V. (also a private Catholic junior college), where I finished up my general ed, and decided that I wanted to major in Philosophy. Why Philosophy? Well, besides the fact that I love it, I still wasn't sure what I wanted to do with the rest of my life, and wasn't great on the idea of school for about another 2 1/2 years. So I decided that if I'm going to go school, and I am able to pick something that I have to study day in, day out for my remaining college career, than I wanted to pick something I enjoyed. Yes, I enjoyed studying Philosophy. After 2 years at Marymount, and getting all the units I needed in order to transfer, I made a big life changing decision. I decided to go away to school.

No one in my family had ever gone away to school. I'm not sure why exactly either? Maybe because my family is so close with one another, and the thought of going somewhere outside of your own comfort zone is a scary thought in itself. Well, whatever the reason, going away for school just seemed like such a crazy and exciting idea, that the more I thought about it, the more I couldn't wait to do it.

The next thing to think about was where I was going to go away. This was more difficult of a decision to make than I had originally anticipated. There were so many choices, so many schools, so many places I wanted to see that I couldn't make up my mind. Process of elimination began and I narrowed it down to at least the area where I wanted to go. I definitely wanted to go somewhere up in Northern California. Now the question was, how far up north I wanted to go. I looked at Humboldt, I looked at Santa Cruz, I looked at Monterey, but there was one place in particular that just spoke the most to me, and the minute I saw the name of the city, I just knew it. I wanted to move to San Francisco!

I knew this is where I wanted my remaining years of my college career to take place. I found a university right smack in the heart of the city, and applied without even thinking twice about it. Bringing this news up to my parents was not the most easiest of things to do either; especially when you are in a very close Hispanic family, you are the only girl, and your father is the most protective father ever (with the best intentions at heart of course). My parents hearing that thier little girl wanted to spread her wings and go to San Francisco, was probably not what they were expecting at all. To liven up the conversation I threw in that Carlos Santana (who is my dad's all time favorite musician from the 60's & 70's) started his career out in Frisco. A musician probably wasn't the best example to use, but hey, Santana is his favorite, and it was worth a try. After the initial shock had surpassed, and the idea of me moving away to San Francisco had ever so slightly, warmed up to them (especially with the help of my older brother, who I still can not thank enough), they gave me thier blessing and were the most supportive parents ever. I shortly thereafter received my acceptance packet into the University of San Francisco (also a private Catholic -Jesuit College, guess I couldn't escape the private school scene).

Moving to San Francisco was one of the best decisions I had ever made. Granted there were those home sick moments, and the overwhelming school load giving me the occasional uncertainty if I could do this college stuff or not, despite that I had a blast. I made some amazing friends, unforgettable memories (the one's I can't remember, cameras captured those moments), and grew so much as a person. I studied my philosophy and even got back into my original passion and art form, dance. It all felt so great. I would come home and visit during the holidays, and family and friends would make a trip out to see me. They wanted to check out my new lifestyle and the beautiful place I lived. It was fairly freezing, rainy, and cold mostly, but beautiful.

This is where the road to my map, started to disappear:

I still had not decided on exactly what I wanted to do with my life, and time was running out. This was the one moment that I realized; I don't have a plan, a step, an instruction manual for what was supposed to happen next. Once this whole, going away to school in San Francisco chapter was over, than what was I supposed to do? Definitely not Grad school, I was burnt out with school, and still today have no real desire to apply. I guess, I would move back home? Apply for a job? You know, an adult one; not just a part time gig. It was a scary feeling. What I did know was that my path thus far had led me in this direction for a reason. I welcomed it graciously with open arms, and dove right in. God, was with me and had my back, so I knew somehow, I would be ok. Good 'ol faith, something you can always look to when you're lost. I graduated with my BA in Philosophy, I celebrated like there was no tomorrow with friends and family, and moved back home.

The chapter is closed, and now I am just in the midst of writing my next one. I have been putting my resume out to wherever I can, where I feel I would be a "good fit". I also keep in mind that this economy today is pretty much not the best when looking for a job. I know I'm not the only one out there feeling this way either. I haven't lost hope, and know that I am supposed to be somewhere and once I get there I'll know this is it, just like I did with my big move. I had applied for a position at a law firm recently. I had a first interview that went awesome, and the second was even better. I waited a whole week, thanked them for their time and consideration in me, but was basically over qualified, so I didn't get the job. That whole week of a waiting period, I had this sense of hope that maybe I finally found something! I was perfectly happy just living with that hope, living in the unknown. Once I was rejected that small piece of hope flew away. I'm not heart broken though, maybe a little disappointed, but that's normal and just means that wasn't where I was supposed to be. Again, God has my back, and I haven't lost sight of that at all.

I realized that I am drawing my map right now as I go, and I'm ok with that, not having a set plan for once. I'm happy, I'm healthy, I have a great family, friends, and boyfriend. I'm all good, my career will come. "All good things come to those who wait."

Always Share Your Green Beans And Mango's

My dad had called my mom on his way home from work tonight, asking if we could use some green beans and mango's at home. Random, right? My mom said sure, especially if they were nice and fresh. My dad insisted they were, so he warned us about the coming of the fresh produce. Still, very random. Once my dad pulled up to the driveway, my brother announced that he was home. A minute or 2 had passed and my dad still had yet walked through the front door. Finally, the front door opened with some hesitance, and in walked my dad with 2 large cases of mango's and 1 large, full crate (yes, a crate) of freshly grown green beans. "What the heck?!", is all me and mom my said as my dad lugged in the large boxes and crate. Never did we think that's what he meant by the word "some", when asking if we could actually use "SOME" green beans and mango's.

Turns out that a friend of his is a food distributor at a food bank, and was being kind in asking my dad if he wanted to take home "SOME" (aka... a TON!) of the green beans and mango's he had. Not denying the gift, of course my dad thanked him and brought them home. He kept me in mind especially with the mango's, since they are one of my favorite fruits ever! So after the initial shock of the large amount had surpassed, I went straight for the mango's, grabbed one, and began cutting into the tender piece of fruit. My mom went straight to work bagging the green beans in freezer bags to store some away, since there was no possible way for us to even dent the beans in a single week. My dad than called my grandma asking her if she would like some of the produce we had just received, and she of course said yes as well. My mom took a couple of freezer bags, filled them to the brim with the beans, and placed them in a grocery bag for my dad to take over. Than my dad suggested on giving some of the mango's too. How dare he! I immediately yelled "No!", like a 5 year old or something, explaining that they were my mango's. My mom snapped back and said, "You can share with your grandma...", like I hadn't been taught sharing before. I work with kids for crying out loud, I'm an enforcer of sharing, and here I was not wanting to share my mango's; and with my grandma of all people. Than my mom said something interesting. She explained that we have to give, in order to receive.

We must give, in order to receive. Really got me thinking, and it's true. I have always been taught when I have an abundance of something, I should share it. Especially if I know I won't be using all of that particular something completely. Don't let it go to waste, share the wealth with others. That wealth could be food, clothes, money, even a special talent or knowledge. Share it if you can, and share as much of it that you are able to. You should never expect a reward in return for giving, but in the end you will eventually be rewarded in other ways. Instant good karma, if that's how you would like to look at it. I think the reward of giving is within it self. It feels so good to give, because giving to others and seeing the expression of appreciation that fills upon their face, is reward enough for me.

So, after all was said and done, I shared my mango's with my grandma along with the green beans; and am very happy that I did.. and may even take over a couple more mango's to her tomorrow, because I know how much she loves them too. So remember to always share your green beans and mango's, it's a good thing.

"Home is where ever I'm with you"

I just had to post this video for the soul purpose that it is precious beyond doubt... and that I LOVE this song. The song is entitled "Home", and it is by Edward Sharpe and the Magnetic Zeros.

And here is the original for your listening pleasure<3

The saying goes... "Home is where the heart is."

I believe it.

1. Pray 2. Love 3. Eat. Yes, In That Order: Inspiration based from the novel and motion picture "Eat, Pray, Love"

I'm sure that some of you may have already read the book, or even seen the movie entitled "Eat, Pray, Love". Well, for a short briefing, it is a story about a woman who embarks on a journey of self discovery. She was at first, leading a life as a married woman, living in New York City. Her life would seem to be a great one, but as life went on, she found herself just going through the motions, and not really being apart of those motions mentally or emotionally. She wanted out of the constant routine, so she took it upon herself to make some changes in order to get to where she wanted to be physically, mentally, and spiritually. She traveled through Italy, India, and Bali, along the way slowly finding herself, gaining some spiritual sense, and rediscovering love once again. The story itself is an inspiring one, and a great lesson being taught, to stop and enjoy the life that you live.

It's interesting to me the order of the title that the words are arranged. "Eat, Pray, Love." Of course they are in order, to follow the order in which her self discovery had taken place. Eat first in Italy, Pray next in India, and than fall in Love in Bali. Whatever the case, she found herself, God, and love; and did it beautifully. It did get me to thinking of what order I would do a self discovery for myself, and I came to the conclusion that my title would have to read as Pray, Love, Eat.

#1: Pray
Prayer is such a powerful thing. So powerful in fact, that I strongly believe if you pray hard enough, and truly believe in what you are praying for, God will come through. Now, it is important to remember that God will not always say yes to what you may be asking. (He's not a magic genie or anything, granting you a wish to win the lottery.) If you are asking for guidance, of course He will provide that guidance through your everyday life as much as possible, you just have to be open and willing to take in that guidance. A line within the prayer "The Our Father" that I like to remember and keep in mind always when praying is "Thy will be done." A friend of mine once told me that this means, when you maybe asking God for something, to remember that his answer could be "yes", it could be "no", or it could be a "hang on, I've got something much better for you". So on a road to self discovery, prayer for me, definitely would be #1 on my list to help me along my journey.

#2: Love
Love. Such an amazing and beautiful thing. Love would be #2 on my list because not only would it be for seeking true love with a life long partner, it would be seeking love for myself, for others, and the world around me. Pura amor. Pure love, all around. Prayer would help guide me to that love in which I seek, and in which I may give as well. Being filled with an abundance of love will also bring positivity within mind, body, and soul; therefore bringing even more positive energy within life and positive results within the journey of self discovery.

#3: Eat
With the constant prayer that would be said, and the constant love that is being given and received, the indulgence in food would come as the journey continues on. Food would not be the only thing I would be able to comfortably indulge in, I would be feasting on the fruits of life! Eating up all the sights, sounds, tastes, knowledge, and beauty that the journey would have to offer. Mmmmm, so delicious.

I have yet needed to stop and say to myself, "I need a change of pace in life.", because in my eyes, I am already on my journey. I am praying, loving, and eating everyday as much as possible, and I don't plan on stopping anytime soon. Of course, there are those days where I just need time to be with myself and re exam where I am headed on my journey, but as a whole, my journey, and everything that has been discovered within it thus far has been truly amazing. With that all being said, onward with my journey as I continue to PRAY, LOVE, and EAT.